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Sunday, January 23, 2005

Musings From The Airplane

Ya know who bugs me? These people who mindlessly applaud the pilot when he lands the airplane at their destination.

I never understood this weak behaviour. Cheering on a man because he has accomplished the fundamental objective of his job description: get the plane to where it has to go. That’s hardly worth my applause. Some schmuck who’s just performing his minimal best?! I don’t think so. You want my applause, you better go beyond the call of duty. Do something impressive.

Land the plane with one of its wings on fire.
You want me to clap, Spaceman, let’s see you do that.

Anyway, I’m not one of these people who just stand up when everyone else does just to give some minutely-talented performer a standing ovation. They have to earn it. And this isn’t Vegas. These people aren’t even entertainers. This is mass transportation. I say if you’re not going to applaud the indecipherable cab driver that smells like a cross between rancid chicken and a diaper desperately in need of attention when he drops you at the airport, then you shouldn’t applaud the pilot either.

If people are going to insist on clapping for pilots when they land planes, then I think we should make it deserving of the applause. Make it a showstopper.

I’d enthusiastically clap for the pilot when he lands the plane after 3 hours locked in the cockpit with a wild, man-eating tiger all flipped out on PCP.

Finally, something worthy of my applause.