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Saturday, July 29, 2006

Jack The Ripper Woulda Never Stood A Chance...

Ok, things are getting fucking paranoid.

This week, a British company launched a product called Buddy On-Demand, a blow-up doll made in the image of a man that sits in the passenger seat of cars to ease the fears of women driving around at night by themselves.

Is there something I'm missing here? I know they drive on the wrong side of the road over there and all, but their cars DO have locks, don't they? And horns? And a gas pedal? What the hell is going on in the streets over there?

And exactly how is a blow up doll gonna help?

Ladies, nevermind your insecure feelings about driving around solo - how you gonna feel when you pull up to a dapper/single/rich Hugh Grant-type at that red light and he looks over to see you sitting seat-belted next to Boner The Blow Up Boy? I'd start wondering about how that's gonna leave you feeling.

Well, I suppose it is not a completely idiotic idea. According to the company behind Buddy On-Demand, 82% of women "feel safer" when there is someone else in the car with them at night.

Okay, I'm cool with that.

Any statistics on how much they'll "feel safer" when that would-be car-jacker/rapist/serial killer gets close enough to realize Buddy can be taken out with the ember of a burning cigarette?