Conversation Non-Starters: First Date

"So....have you ever been in the shower and the soap slips out of your hand but you quickly catch it before it falls? Don't you just for a second feel really proud of yourself? Sometimes I go one step further and present myself with the 'Vidal Sassoon Loofah-Sponge Award' for Most Valuable Player. But not always...only sometimes...

...So...would you like some dessert?"