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Saturday, January 29, 2005

Daily Affirmations...(You're Welcome)

To ensure you start your day in the right frame of mind, repeat these 3 affirmations to yourself everyday:

I am depressed, melancholy, concerned, worried, restless, fearful, panicked, cheerless, dejected, despondent, distressed, pessimistic, bitter, enraged, resentful, indignant, somber, doleful, downcast, petulant, peevish, malevolent, anxious, forlorn, and riddled with general malaise. But atleast I don’t have to eat pudding with a spoon held between my toes.

I’m broke, have no prospects or future opportunities, no credit, no confidence, no girlfriend, no meaningful relationships of any kind, no principles, no allegiances, no faith, no perspective, no hobbies, no interests, no diversions, no significance, no hope and no positive outlook, but I’m not bleeding from the eyeballs either.

Today I will do nothing, feel nothing, read nothing, learn nothing, meet no one, avoid everyone, become frustrated, obtain a bad attitude, be cynical, ill-fated and impossible, indifferent, insecure, selfish, sulk, seethe and be spiteful and try my best not to obtain any sense of inspiration at all. It will be a very successful day.