I'm Sorry But....

People should really stop apologizing every time they offer their opinion. I’m really tired of hearing people say “I’m sorry but…” before they make a statement as in “I’m sorry but you just shouldn’t shove bread in your ear”.

I’m sorry but it shows a real weakness of character to add the modifier “I’m sorry but…” before you exclaim your opinion, ok? So stop it.

People think by prefacing a statement that they are insecure about with an “I’m sorry but…”, it’ll get them off the hook for what they’re about to say, as in “I’m sorry but your penis is not adequate, Jim”, or “That’s fine Sally, because I’m sorry but frankly your genitalia scares the hell out of me”.

“I’m sorry but…” is sort of like our insincere and inappropriate overuse of the the phrase “just kidding!” when people try to soften a joke told at someone else’s expense, as in “I’m sorry but your penis is not adequate Jim”…(pause)…”just kidding!”.

If you’re an abuser of this type of language, stop it. It’s soft, insincere and inexcusable. In fact, I’m sorry but if you insist on continuing to use this phraseological abomination then you deserve to be stripped, rolled in corn syrup and locked in a steel trunk full of fire ants then tossed into the middle of the Atlantic Ocean from a helicopter…(pause)…just kidding!