Another Celebrity Baby Ruined By Bad Taste

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Oscar-winning actor Nicolas Cage's wife of 14 months gave birth on Monday to the couple's first child together, a son they named Kal-el -- a moniker recognized by comic book fans as the birth name of Superman.

Isn’t it time we take the luxury of naming their own offspring away from these celebrities? I mean, they got money, fame, all that…isn’t that enuff? When they begin annointing their children after inanimate objects and ridiculously named fictional comic book characters, it’s time to step in.

First off, think about this poor kid who now has to learn to be abused and teased because he’s got a ridiculous name. Kal-El.

But Nick, Why stick to Superman’s birth name – why not just call the kid Superboy? Then when he hit’s 18, he can legally change it to Superman. Seems to make sense to me.

Besides Superman’s too obvious. Should have went for something a little more clever. Take one of Superman’s enemies. Lex Luthor has a nice ring to it. What about Brainiac? I always liked that one, but it sorta presumes too much from the kid, don’t it?

Ah! I got it! Mr. Mxyzptlk!

Personally, Superman’s world is kinda bland. Kal-El, Jor-El, all those boring shitty names ending in "el". Screw that. Nicko shoulda looked around the comic book universe a little more. How about Spiderman?

If he really wanted to be clever he should have named his kid the Green Goblin.

Now that’s an original baby name.