Saucy Movie Reviews

(for Mary)

In Theatres:

Just Like Heaven - A lonely architect falls for the spirit of beautiful woman who used to live in his new apartment but is now dead. The scene where he has sex with the rotting corpse in an attempt to communicate is soooo romantic.

Cry Wolf - High school kids create a ruse involving a serial killer named "The Wolf", a game that turns terrifyingly real. Watch for it’s sequel coming soon: Cry Wolf 2: The Kids Discover Twister.

The Constant Gardener – a 3 hour epic about a dude who spends the entire film planting sugar peas in his backyard. Actually, I never saw it. I’m just guessing.

March of the Penguins – Wait! Is this still in theatres?!?! Holy fuck, it’s just a bunch of penguins waddling around, right? What the fuck?

Wedding Crashers – Ok, it was funny the first time around. Now, go see something else and let this one die already.

Opening Soon:

Corpse Bride – see Just Like Heaven review, only with puppets.

Flightplan – Red Eye only with Jodie Foster.

Oliver Twist – Oliver Twist, only with Sir Ben Kingsley (yawn)

Somebody save us.