Conan The Grumpy Old Man
Everyone seems to be making a big deal that Warner Brothers is reviving the Superman franchise, but did you know that the movie studio is taking a stab at reviving the Conan The Barbarian franchise? Yes, that's right cinephiles - Conan will be back! Ah yes, but it begs the question, doesn't it? Will California Governor Arnie Schwarzenegger return to the role that made him famous back in 1982?!?!
Well, some insiders are saying its not totally out of the question. In fact, after he finishes off his term as governor, he could return to, and I use this word loosely...acting. But to be honest, who want want to see Arnold wielding a sword in nothing but a lose-fitting loin cloth. I mean, the dude is almost 60! It's supposed to be Conan the Barbarian, not Conan the Sexagenerian, that's all I'm saying.
Well, just in case Warner Brothers does cast the Governator in the classic role, and they're having some trouble finding potential names for the series of future action flicks, I've got a couple ideas of what they could go with.
How about Conan the Pensionable?! Or maybe Conan: Master of Canasta. Here's a potential nail-biter - Conan Takes A Nap.
Nah, I got it...Conan and the Quest for Geritol...and you could hire Red Buttons as 'the Pharmacist'. Genius.
There you go Warner Brothers.
You don't have to thank me.