The Life & Death of the Eyebrow

Have you ever just been sitting there naked, staring at yourself in the bathroom mirror, just contemplating the impact of existential philosophy on modern psychology (and popping a zit on your back) when suddenly...

...suddenly, you notice a hair on your body?

But not just a hair. A really long hair. Like a single 3-inch long motherfucker popping out of your shoulder, and you think, "where the fuck did that come from?".

It's perplexing, isn't it? Many things race through the mind. There's no other long hairs around it. How come its so long? Did it grow overnight? Am I turning into the wolfman? But just for a second, you actually kinda feel proud of it. Well, it's beat the odds. It's the long shot come in.

Every once in a while, I get a crazy eyebrow hair that just suddenly shows up and it's like a quarter of an inch longer than the rest, and I'm thinking, "how did I miss that?". I always cut it off right away, but not without feeling a twinge of guilt. To me, it's like someone surviving a shipwreck and swimming hundreds of miles to shore overnight only to have some prick shoot them in the fucking head.