The Most Useless Talent of the Week

Farthest Spaghetti Nasal Ejection

If you are ever in doubt about how simply ridiculous our society has become, all you really need to do is pick up one o' them Guiness Book of Records tomes at the local book shop and flip through a few pages.

Kevin Cole of New Mexico holds the record for the longest spaghetti strand blown out of a nostril in a single blow. He successfully achieved a record distance of 19 cm or 7 and a half inches.

He first started practicing his nasal ejection with Ramon noodles (as we all do at some point in college when you're at home, smashed on Sambuca and the power goes out so you aren't distracted by re-runs of Married With Children) and then ofcourse, you know, it naturally progressed onto spaghetti. I'm thinking the next natural progression must be a broad noodle. Or how about fusilli? Let's see how far Mr. Cole can rocket one of those spirally flying saucers out his nose. I bet a good honk'll get you atleast a foot.

Among Kevin's multitude of useless, and presumably girlfriend-averting skills is the ability to blow one end of the spaghetti out of one nostril, and the other end out of the other nostril for a "nasal floss" effect.

Well, Kevin...congrats. You sound like a real dickhead.