Barely Famous Actors Wear Really Big Sunglasses

(or "What I Learned At The Toronto International Film Festival in 2 days")

Well, in the spirit of my hometown's currently running Toronto Film Festival I've decided to share with you a short list of movie screenplays I am working on at the moment. It is with one of these, that I hope I will get to pitch a big-time movie producer and launch my new career as a "cocky, pretentious Hollywood asshole and professional oversized sunglass wearer". Here are my one sentence pitches:

- Brussel Sprout: The Movie (a documentary about the life of a single brussel sprout...riveting!)

- Deathmatch From Hell: The Lawrence Welk Story (an action-packed biography with a hint of bullshit)

- Jimmy Discovers His Penis (a lighthearted family coming-of-age drama)

- Remember that Bill Cosby film from the '80s "Leonard Part 6"? Well, listen to this. I got... "Leonard Part 7".

- 120 Minutes (an intense, nailbiting real-time thriller about 2 hours in the life of a well-timed alarm clock)

- Foot In Your Bag (a hilarious slapstick comedy about a young girl played by Dakota Fanning who has the nasty uncontrollable urge to kick everyone she meets in the nuts. It don't get funnier than that...)

- Thesaurus: The Movie (trust me on this one!)