Good News For The Incapable

They’ve finally done it. Forget cancer research. Forget trying to find a cure for AIDS. Oh, and the Avian Flu – fuck that. Researchers have finally developed a beer coaster that alerts a bartender that your glass is empty.

I can now sleep at night.

Apparently, this vital new technology absorbs condensation like ordinary beer coasters, but amazingly, also detects the weight of the drink above it, and sends an electronic signal to the bar for a refill when the beverage gets low.

Now, I hate to point out the obvious, but if you’re in a situation where your drink is so low and you are incapable of, you know, asking for another drink….maybe it’s time to just call it a night, okay Barfly.

Just a hunch.