Quick Reader Survey

Please answer all of these questions as honestly as possible. It is important that I get an accurate sense of my readership:

1. Do you have less than 10 digits on your hands? Feet?

2. Are any of the digits you have malformed or disfigured in any way?

3. How many eyelashes do you have?

4. Shazbot, Na-noo, Na-noo?

5. Chocolate or cheese?

6. Stewed monkey brains or boiled sheep’s testicles?

7. Good from far or far from good?

8. Have you had any erotic dreams about Condoleeza Rice lately?

9. Have you had any erotic dreams about Dick Cheney lately? (please, no description – yes or no will do)

10. True or False, “chow mein” is how an Italian Chicano says ‘goodbye’ to his friends?

11. What is that weird black thing on the bottom of a banana? I’m not certain, but I think it’s the banana’s asshole.

12. What is your favorite kind of triangle?