In Case Of Emergency...Pull This.

I noticed on the subway this morning an emergency alarm on the subway train.

It is a strip that you push on and it alerts the stoned-but-cautious subway driver that you are indeed in the midst of some sort of an emergency.

Beside it is posted a sign that reads, "emergency stop - penalty for misuse - fine or IMPRISONMENT".

Imprisonment? Holy shit, i feel sorry for the poor bastard who gets locked up in the big house and has to instill fear into his anal-fetishing bunkmate by explaining he's in for "hitting the brakes on the subway all because he thought some Aunt Bea might be choking on a chalupa".

Don't fuck with me, Bubba. I brought public transit to a halt, muthafucka.