Retarded Expression Of The Week

"Shit Is Gonna Hit The Fan"

Ofcourse, we all know this saying, which is mainly used to describe a situation that has either grown out of control or represents one who is in serious trouble, as in "If you take this tumbler full of my saliva, walk up and throw it into that policeman's face...I betcha shit is gonna hit the fan".

The confusing thing about this expression is that presumably shit alone, is in itself seemingly harmless, but shit being tossed into the spinning arms of a fan is much, much worse. Which presents another interesting question. How did this saying ever come up? Shit is gonna hit the fan? It has tone of presumption, doesn't it? I mean, for this to work, shit had to actually hit a fan before anyone knew that it would actually cause trouble. So what happened?

I like to think some soft-headed cheesedick was sitting around one day, you know, just watching daytime television and shitting into the palm of his hand. Well...sometimes the couch is just so damn comfy...

Anyhow, you can't just sit there watching Sally Jessy Raphael with a Dr. Pepper in one hand and a turd in the other. You gotta get rid of that thing. And what are you gonna do - wait for a commercial break? No way, brother. You wanna rid yourself of that potato while it's still hot. So, taking it upon himself, the truly brain-injured treestump must have launched the dookie across the room aiming to hit the wastebasket. Sadly, I imagine he overthrew, landing the ass nugget directly into an oscillating fan essentially spraying his livingroom with fecal matter and thus, the saying was born into our universe.

But then, don't take my word for it - that's just what I like to think might've happened.