And Now A Word From Our Sponsor...

Scene opens: a scraggly, bearded Saddam Hussein sits on barcolounger in sweatpants looking somewhat glum. He’s watching re-runs of the Golden Girls with a bowl of stale ripple chips in his lap.

Narrator
Hey! You!

Saddam looks over into the camera, and makes a “who me?” gesture with his hand.

Narrator
Yeah, you! Tired of the same old boring snacks?

Saddam looks down at the chips and nods disparagingly.

Narrator
Greasy pork rinds just TOO darn greasy for your germophobia?

Saddam nods again into the camera.

Narrator
Well, then maybe it’s time to try new Doritos!

Saddam
(in broken English)
Dor-hee-tos?

Narrator
Yes, Doritos.

A bag is thrust into the frame towards Saddam. He looks at it quizzically.

Saddam
Hmm...okay, I try. America must die.

Saddam pulls a chip from the bag. He sniffs it for an unrecognizable scent, like for instance, poison. He then pops it into his mouth. His face lights up.

Saddam
Wow. Zippy.

Narrator
Betcha can’t have just one!

Saddam
Give me bag infidel American pig.

Saddam tears bag away and starts voraciously forcing the Doritos into his mouth.

Narrator
(laughing)
Whoa, slow down there, Mr. Crimes-Against-Humanity! You don’t wanna get a bellyache before they go and fry ya now.

.

Saddam continues shoving Doritos into his mouth, his beard quickly filling up with nacho dust.

.

Narrator

Boy, you sure do like those Doritos though, don’t ya? Tastes like freedom, I bet.

Saddam
Me not understand you. America will pay, this I promise you.

.

(fade to black)