Most Useless Talent of the Week

Dead Cricket Spitting

Danny Capps of Wisconsin set the world record for farthest distance anyone has spat a dead cricket from their mouth.

It kind of begs the question...has anyone else ever spat a dead cricket from their mouth.

Nonetheless, Danny is the proud record holder having heaved the dead insect over 30 feet in loogie form. Good job Danny. Now that you have accomplished that particularly fascinating feat, perhaps you can get back to your regular job - watching dust settle on your TV and picking out the jam between your toes. Ofcourse, I'm only assuming. I'm sure in real life, someone who has found the time (and inclination) to develop the mastery of spitting dead bugs record distances must be busy theologians or at the very least, working on a cure for cancer...you know...on the side. Wouldn't want something like a little incurable disease get in the way of the truly important goals in life like horking dead crickets across the room.

So, way to go Danny! You are the much-deserved winner of this week's 'most useless talent'. Wear it well and hork up a good ol' locust for us all in celebration, numbnuts.