November's Got Love Handles

Okay, it's time that the trend of the "nude" calender for charity fundraising goes away.

I'll admit, in a harmless and purely flaccid way, it was kinda cute when the old British broads did it to raise awareness for a friend that passed on from cancer, but now it seems like every little community theater group, amateur softball team, or pretty much anyone who ranks in the top 10% of society's most unsightly is coming out with their own "naked calender".

Take for instance, the latest:

Ontario farmers have shed their clothes in a new calender in an effort to attract the youth to futures in farming. Really? So, let me get this right - you want to try and enlist the interests of young people to the labor-intensive, volatile world of farming so you got a photo of Uncle Hoss and his beer gut riding a combine in the nude? Are you fucking insane?

Some of the others jumping on the 'nude calendar' bandwagon include the Stewardesses Stripped (of Their Pension) (to raise awareness), Of Mutts And Men (to raise money for town hall) and the Rugby Guys (to benefit amateur athletics). Now, that's the spirit!

But why stop there. Why aren't nude calenders for other more serious institutions. Maybe we could have calendars to benefit the Nursery School Sluts, or Asses of the Anesthesiologsts and ofcourse one called...Nuns And Their Guns.

I guess the one consolation in all of this is that these people aren't fully nude. Generally, they're hiding their naughty (and by that I mean horrifying) bits with strategically placed items. Rugby balls, fence posts, fireman helmets, you know whatever is thematic and large (or small enough) to do the job.

But here's the thing to all of this....why can't we just give to charity? Are we really so self-involved and materialistic that we have to get SOMETHING for a donation, even if it is something as innocuous and forgettable as a calender full of out-of-shape auto workers posing nude with a steel lunch box hiding their dicks?

Well, proabably. but nevermind me, this shit is selling. People are eating it up. That naked farmer calendar sold its first 1000 calendars bringing in an estimated $10,000......

....holy shit...

ya know, come to think of it, what's one more nude calendar......

Watch for Saucy Monk Exposed 2006 coming soon...