Things To Watch Out For

(off the top of my head...)

Ya know, Franklin D. Roosevelt once said, "the only thing to fear is fear itself". Oh ya? Well, maybe he forgot about...

Plane crashes. Car wrecks. Train derailments. Sinking boats. Drunk drivers. Blind drivers. Reckless drivers. Drive-by shootings. Hurricanes. Tornadoes. Tropical storms. Ice storms. Tsunamis. Deadly earthquakes. Volcano eruptions. Floods. Poisonous snakes. Poisonous spiders. Scorpions. Sharks. Killer bees. Dogs with rabies. Pit bulls with rabies. Pit bulls without rabies. The bird flu. West Nile. Mad cow disease. SARS. SIDS. AIDS. Flesh-eating disease. Cancer. Syphyllis. Gonnorhea. A strange discoloration on your dick. A strange perforation on your A-hole. A growth that changes colors. Bleeding gums. Changes in moles. High blood pressure. Low blood pressure. A crazed madman flaunting a loaded pistol. A bomb-wielding suicide terrorist who hates you religiously. A disgruntled postal employee. Pissed-off loan sharks named “Shitface”. A botched medical procedure. Con artists. Computer viruses. Spyware. Adware. Worms. Chemicals in the air. Chemicals in your food. Spit on your burger. Fecal matter in your burger. Drugs in your drink. Disfiguring factory mishaps. Career-ending sports injuries. Bad drugs. Tainted drinking water. Tainted blood. Unstable nations with nuclear capabilities. Theft. Assault. Sexual assault. Hate crimes. Kidnapping. Kiddie porn. Infidelity. Adultery. Trans-fats. Too much fats. Too much sun. Unstable economy. Corruption. Job security. Bankruptcy. Audits. Bank machine fraud. Late charges. Penalty fees. Bad credit. Global warming. Obesity. Vandalism. Isolation. Loneliness. Abandonment.

…and ofcourse, personal failure.

Now get out there and have a nice day.