Sorry, I Apologize, I Suck

Ok, well, I have been a bad blogger, so busy, I have had no time to update with friendly musings, jibes, sarcastic witticisms and all-around Saucy horseshit.

I hope to get back on the merry-go-round of misery in a day or two, but the drinking binge has gotten out of hand, and ya know, balancing work and boozin' just ain't what it used to be.

In lieu of something mediocre for the sake of blogging, I give to you, my readers a "classic" Saucy Monk entry from the early days. Most of my faithful are no longer faithful so consider it like a "new release" if you've never read it before. Otherwise....well....I guess it's like renting Porky's II: The Next Day. Never quite as good the second time around, but still, not bad.

* * *
Who Smells On This Subway Train? (A Love Poem)

Holy fuck.

Who smells on this subway train?
(it's not me, is it?)

A medley of mothballs, B.O. and urine
An odious concoction.
Jesus.
Look at these people.
Does anyone shower anymore?
This guy with the dandruff

Falling
like
dead
confetti

That girl with the hairy boil growing out of her neck

(what the fuck is that thing - it looks like a fist)

Who's hand is that feeling my ass?
Goddammit, where's my wallet?
Can't this asshole give me some room to breathe?
Which would only yield me back to...

Who fucking smells on this subway train?

I often get on the subway and think to myself:
What dormant pool of Darwinian human waste did these pre-evolutionary slugs crawl their way out of?

Then I get to my stop and I'm okay again.