The Most Important Story You Will Ever Read!

Digging through an old box of detritus, I came across an old exercise book from my years toiled in grade school (I'm guessing about Grade 4 or 5). Within it was scrawled a fascinating tale written by yours truly. I would like to re-publish this little seen masterpiece on my blog and let you look into the very early works of Saucy Monk (pay attention - many world leaders could learn something from this).

(I have left spelling errors, grammar, etc in its original glory. Enjoy -- SM).


The New Space Warriors
(by Li'l Saucy Monk)

One space weekend the Rocket nine-six-six was flying around and an enimy scout was following us. We put on reverse, and shot his thrusters as he was turning away to a planet. We thought something was interesting about it so we went over to the planet and landed. We found out there was life and there was also our enimes.

"My name is John Kracker and my partner is Lt. Mike Stuppy. I am captain. We fight Justice, in other words we're good hit men.

This planet had caves only, to live in. Mike and me stayed close to the places where the caves were not.
"Captain." Mike said "We have are lasers and our force field but we don't know what they have."
"Don't fret." I said "We will get out in a second."
Mike said "Sir, I don't think we're in anything."
"I know" I said
"Well then why..."
"Shhh, I here something." At that moment ten scouts walked out of a cave with stun guns.
"Hide." I said. All of a sudden we were surrounded.
"Sir, we can't play chess now!" Mike said
"Well then lets play checkers." I said.

They stunned us down and took us away. When we woke up we found out we were gonna be killed and fed to a half man half lizard creature. An hour later we we're thrown into a ring where creatures stood with lazers set on high. We didn't have our lazers but we still had our force field units. They shot but we had our forcefields on. We walked up to these creatures and attacked them. I hit one and I sware he went at least 5 yards.

When the fight was over we talked to the leader "Look, we have peace where we come from and it's nice there." I said.
I don't care! the leader said
"Look, if peace isn't..."
"Shut up!" The leader said
"I'll make a deal with you, make peace and if you don't like it you can kill us!" said I
"It's a deal."
About a week later...
"Earthman," the leader said "Your smart and we will keep peace, and you may go home."
"Thank you." I said
Mike said "As long as you have peace, you will be content."

THE END