"I can't understand why more people haven't added you as a favorite. You are one rad fucker!" -- uridium15, diaryland

Saturday, May 14, 2005

First Person On Earth

Once, on a tempestuous day in September, my garralous, schizoid buddy Ginch-Eater took a handful of hard polyurethane-coated goat turds and swallowed them right before he had his nipples surgically removed by a monkey in a lab coat stoned on crystal methamphetamine.

Ya know what? I'll betcha I'm the first person on Earth ever to string that sentence together.