Retarded Expression of the Week

Bag of shit

Now, this particular simile is typically used in first-person to describe just how hungover you generally feel...as in, "boy, after drinking 12 Jagermeister shots, a bottle of Jim Beam and shooting heroin into my cock last night, I feel like a bag of shit".

It's interesting to me, because the use of bag of shit is very particular. I mean, you never hear someone say "pail of shit" or a "gunnysack of shit". It's always "bag" of shit. The reason why it's specific nature interests me is because in fact, besides outside of the iconic and always humorous "flaming bag of shit", I've never actually heard of a "bag of shit".

SO, what is this comparison based on exactly? I mean, it doesn't actually seem to reflect accurately what it's supposed to be representing, does it? "I feel like a bag of shit." So, how do you feel exactly? Warm to the touch? A little lumpy maybe? See. Not accurate.

Still, unlike other retarded terms I've singled out in the past, I am not calling for a boycott of this one. Nope. I actually quite like it.

Bag of shit. So, tonight, over your roast pork dinner, raise a glass of Pinot and toast this term. Say to your formal dinner guests, "To bag of shit", then slam back the wine in one gulp.

If you celebrate enough tonight, you may be living it tomorrow.