There Will Be No Saving You After 5pm

So it turns out the little province of P.E.I. here in Canada’r will shut its 24-hour suicide hotline and replace it with one that operates only during business hours, Monday through Friday.

Well, Its about time we got these suicidal people on a schedule. I mean, come on, you don’t wanna die in the middle of the night do ya? Grab yer balls pal, and do it in the light of day for God’s sake. Who wants to kill themselves when they could be sleeping anyway? Shit, do it at work. Hell, I’ll do anything to kill a few hours at the office.

I ain’t got no respect for these lazy people who just can’t kill themselves before 5 pm. Hell, I got to get home. Isn’t Extreme Makeover on tonight?