A Selection of Thoughts I Never Said

Ever catch yourself really, really wanting to say something inappropriate to a stranger? You know, like someone who is in your way when you're in a rush or maybe just someone simply so stunned, you'd like to slap them and hope they wake up.

Well, try this interesting experiment and see how much you censor yourself (if you live in a city like Toronto, I'll bet it's a lot). Over the past couple of hours, I made a mental note of the things that popped into my head, but for better or worse, didn't make it out verbally to strangers around me. Here's the best of the list:

"Get out tha way you fat tub o' shit!"

"Fine, don't say 'hi' back, bee-yotch!"

"Jeezus, with that hair, you look like Cruella de Vil"

(to Tim Horton's sales clerk) "Ya know, if you just took one order at a time, you might not fuck up my order as much"

"Please tell me - how do you possibly get yourself to smell so simply vile and disgusting"

(at a salad bar) "Lady, its only a fucking salad - pick a vegetable and go with it!"